I Have Nothing To Say

Its been 13 days since my last blog post.  In that time I have been working my butt off and it has been pulled in every direction it feels.  I feel as though I have dissolved into a big pile of “let’s get this shit done”.  I signed on thinking, I’m going to write something brilliant but alas as I sit here sipping on wine, my walls vibrating from music and my most awesome mix matched sleep gear, I still have nothing to say.

So I have decided to confess to some things.  I confess that I love my high heel shoes but I don’t really wear them every single day of my life.  I do look at them frequently though, not because I admire them so much but because I have run out of closet space and the additional dedicated shelf space so I have to look at them as I pass many pairs on the floor on my way to the bathroom.  I don’t dare step on them while trekking to & fro.  How awful it would be to fall bang my head on the wall & be knocked out.  It makes me think about that commercial that was so popular once upon a time “I’ve fallen & I can’t get up”.

I have another confession, as a notorious makeup junkie, I don’t always wear it either.  However, I absolutely am rarely ever seen without having done my eyebrows.  A girl has to have some things that are sacred.  I sometimes worry that people will think I’m vain, then I have to remind myself that I’m not supposed to give a shit what people think of me, they don’t pay my bills…but wait, now that I blog for a living, they do.  Dammit!

I’m still confessing, lately I have not posted as much as I usually do on Facebook.  Partly because I am busy during the day working to build a brand but the other reason is I’ve really kind of grown bored of it.  I read my newsfeed & realize…man, people are fucking crazy!  They spew hate and justify it with the use of God and politics.  It’s pretty sad to me and that brings me to another confession, I’m a lot more sensitive than people realize.  I cry at Hallmark commercials, animals & children being abused….and it bothers me greatly when people gay bash, race bash, weight bash, pretty much you can add bash to the back end of anything and it bothers me.

More confession….maybe I should rename this post to I confess.  I am an angry person.  There, I said it.  Injustice pisses me off, people blaming the President pisses me off (not just Obama either) I feel like those bitches need to take responsibility for their own lives while they are moaning about what the elected officials are or aren’t doing, if the corrupt assholes in Washington can figure a way around it then that means there’s a way around it, stop bitching, moaning & being lazy and find the same loophole they did.  That’s the great thing about laws, we can actually all benefit from them if we take the time to learn the ones that affect us most.

I’m enjoying telling it all so lets continue.  I confess I don’t like ass kissers & I don’t like people who expect others to kiss their asses, I stand my ground, I won’t be railroaded and I usually piss people off who take themselves or their positions too seriously.  You are replaceable, I am replaceable so sit your ass down, you’re doing too much.  Its been said that my expectations of people are too high.  Interestingly enough, I hold others to the same standards I hold myself to.  If I fuck up, I admit it and I apologize but if you fuck up I’m going to call you on it if you start acting like other people are the issue.  Again, sit your ass down, you’re doing too much.

Its funny that I mentioned being an angry person, I went from not having anything to say to being pissed off about people thinking they can push others around because they think folks should kiss their asses.  I grew up in the city of Chicago, I spent my youth in 2 of the most violent neighborhoods in the city.  Pull up Englewood & Humboldt Park and I can guarantee someone died there yesterday, today & will tomorrow.  I worked hard to curb a lot of the residual parts of where I grew up.  I do my best to laugh as much as possible, it keeps me from punching someone, that’s another confession by the way.

I have a big personality, I have been popular most of my life (I’m not bragging, this is just the way its been) but I never try to be the center of attention, it just kind of happens.  I’m that person that says what others are thinking but not in a hurtful way, its usually funny.  I tell a lot of stories, I have a lot of chapters in this story that is my life.  I have very few goals I set that I have not hit.  That makes for some interesting stuff I guess.  I’m a talker but unlike many who are big talkers, I am a big listener as well.  I tend to find that there is always someone who is pissed off that I happen to be the center of attention where they are not & that causes problems so in spite of my big personality, I actually spend a tremendous amount of time alone.

People think I’m fearless, I wish! lol I have fear like most people but when I realize its hindering my success it must go.  I have to step out on faith & God has yet to let me down.  Well, wait, I was supposed to be some big time attorney ripping the throat out of weak companies, living in the John Hancock building overlooking Lake Michigan with all white furniture in my place but clearly God was like…girl please, you’re having babies and besides you’re a jackass.  Which means I would have been an awesome attorney :-p

I promise when I started this, I had nothing to say & if you’re still reading at this point, you are either my mother, bored or actually think this rant is interesting.  Ok, I am going to wrap up by adding one last confession, lately I have been questioning some things in my personality because I didn’t start off as a loner but a few years ago I got into an altercation with a woman because I think she was pissed that I managed to be well liked & the center of attention.  It sent me off to what I refer to as my cave…but I have come to realize in that time that God made me, I am the absolute most perfect Kellie that I can be.  Angry, talkative, sociable, lovable, sensitive, center of attention yet comfortable being all alone and I have come to realize, those that don’t like me can kiss my ass, that’s all I have to say.  Hmm, I said I don’t like people who expect other people to kiss their asses….well if you’re than nit picky, kiss my ass hee hee I think that may have sounded angry.

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